Breakup: Making It Through
6 min read
Louise halimi
Anger
Anxiety
Couple
Depression
Self-confidence
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A breakup, whether we initiate it or go through it unwillingly, shakes us to the core. It’s a kind of inner storm. It can destabilize our sense of direction, our self-confidence, and our mental health. Contrary to popular belief, ending a relationship is never easy, not even for the one who makes the decision. A breakup is not just the end of a story; it’s the beginning of an intense emotional process, one that includes grief, self-reflection, and sometimes, rebirth.
What’s at stake in a breakup
A breakup touches deep aspects of our identity. Being in a relationship means building habits, a daily routine, a shared future. When that dynamic ends, our entire personal balance can be shaken.
Psychologically, we go through what experts call a grief process. It’s not just mourning a person, but also grieving a shared project, intimacy, sometimes a home, and mutual reference points. This process includes several stages: shock, denial, sadness, anger, sometimes guilt, and eventually acceptance.
This journey is often complicated by the fact that a breakup can revive older wounds: fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, feelings of failure. These can amplify the pain and even trigger anxiety or depressive symptoms.
The impact on mental health
An emotional breakup can have a significant impact on mental health. Some people report a loss of purpose, sleep disturbances, panic attacks, or depressive episodes. Self-esteem can be deeply damaged, especially if the separation was sudden, involved infidelity, betrayal, or humiliation.
The body also reacts to this tension: stress hormones rise, the immune system can weaken, and appetite is often disrupted. The brain may even respond as it does during addiction withdrawal. Some studies have shown that the emotional pain of heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain.
It’s crucial not to minimize what we feel. A breakup isn’t “just a rough patch”; if mishandled, it can become a real trauma.
Healthy practices for a peaceful separation
Although every story is unique, some practices can help make the process of separation more peaceful:
- Express your emotions: talk, write, cry, scream if needed. The goal isn’t to rationalize everything but to welcome what you feel without judgment.
- Limit contact at first: creating some distance often helps you gain clarity, rebuild yourself, and avoid toxic cycles.
- Communicate honestly but respectfully: if communication is necessary (especially when children or shared responsibilities are involved), it’s best to set clear and respectful boundaries to avoid resentment.
- Take a break from social media: monitoring your ex or sharing your pain online often prolongs the suffering. Digital distance can be very helpful.
- Take care of yourself: eat well, move your body, get enough sleep, and see loved ones. These basics play a crucial role in restoring mental balance.
How to truly move on
Healing from a breakup takes time. It’s not about “getting over it” overnight, but about rewriting your story at your own pace,...